Against the Wind

Several years ago I read a book titled “The Heavenly Man” by Brother Yun.  This house-church pastor in China was passionate about Jesus Christ.  Hounded by the authorities he was on the run, frequently detained and sometimes tortured.  This took a terrible toll on his family.  Acquaintances feared to be seen in association with him.

Prison conditions were harsh.  He memorized large portions of the Bible for inner sustenance.  Beatings were common.   Amazingly he looked forward to cleaning latrines overflowing with filth.  A companion over this mess was also a believer.  Performing this repulsive duty they shared the peace of Christ while quietly singing songs of praise.

One afternoon, in the course of my reading, I had had enough.  Hurling the book across the room my heart cried out for persecuted Christians.  Having donned athletic clothes I headed out of town on my bicycle.  My mind was focused like a laser and I was ticked.

Intense emotions had trumped my usual concern for the wind.  My heart and my body were in different realms.   Defiantly, I headed straight into a fierce headwind.  Perhaps the windiest day of the year.  Through clenched teeth I prayed.  Syllable by syllable I expressed prayer for the persecuted.  With each downward stroke of the pedals a piece of my heart was thrust forth in prayer—staccato grunts of intense petition.

For five miles I pedaled—against the wind.  Stopping to turn around I was struck by how effortless it had been to prevail against the wind.  Passionate prayer for persecuted people provided persistence.

Turning toward home the wind was at my back.  The pace quickened and prideful eyes gazed at the speedometer.  Wow, I was flyin’!   Laughing to myself I said, “Is this livin’ or what?”  Then, approaching the city limits a chill of terror swept over me.  It was a “Woe is me, for I am ruined” kind of moment.

With the wind at my back…for five miles…not once…NOT ONCE…did I pray so much as a single word!  In the blink of an eye I went from the puffed up pride of prowess to “Wretched man that I am, who will deliver me from this body of death?!”

We like the wind at our backs.  Yet when we persevere against the wind—we pray more, right?  Take heart, having the wind at our back isn’t as sweet as it seems.  People who strengthen others most are those who pray—against the wind.

Steve

(Bible references:  Isaiah 6:5; Romans 7:24)

Tears In A Bottle

(A meditation based on Psalm 56)

“This I know, that God is for me.”

Psalm 56:9 (ESV)

David is one of the most recognized characters in the Bible.  He had been anointed by God to be the next King of Israel.  God had already rescued this shepherd boy “from the paw of the lion and from the paw of the bear” (I Sam. 17:37) .  David had bravely confronted Goliath with five smooth stones and a sling…and he won!

Yet after all this he was a man on the run.  Saul sought to kill him.  Perhaps it was between gasps for air that he was sustained by these words, “This I know, that God is for me.”  Or perhaps he tossed and turned on stone strewn ground under the stars.  Could it be that what sustained him through sleepless nights were these words, “This I know, that God is for me”?

As you read Psalm 56 words like the following are sprinkled throughout.  “Trampled, attacked, oppressed, afraid, injury, strife, tears, enemies, falling, death.”

David found comfort in the fact that God “kept count of (his) tossings” and his tears, “are they not in your book?”  God knew his predicament.  Because David knew that God knew he could say, “in God I trust; I shall not be afraid.”  Because David knew that God knew he could get on with life (“perform my vows to you”), celebrate (“I praise …I praise …I will render thank offerings”), find traction (“you have delivered…my feet from falling”), stand up tall (“walk before God”) and step out from the oppressors’ dark shadow (“in the light of life”).

Do you ever feel like David?  Remember the good old days when the future was bright and you did brave things?  All of sudden you are on the run by day and a tossin’ and a turnin’ by night?  God counts your tears!

Oh my, how our lives change when these words come to mind in the challenges of life.  “This I know, that God is for me.”

It’s taken me a long time to learn the secret of resting in this sweet promise.  If you are resting too, let’s celebrate.  If you are still a tossin’ and a turnin’ more than a believin’ and a trustin’ then let’s call on the Lord together.  I pray that FBC will increasingly become a body of believers who greet one another with a twinkle in the eye and a simple word.  “This I know, that God is for me.”

Pastor Steve

Invictus

While the afternoon was still hot my wife and I enjoyed homemade pizza with a new crust recipe that turned out perfectly.  We ate while watching the movie “Invictus”.  It was an excellent story taking place in South Africa after Nelson Mandela was voted in as President.  There were good lessons about reconciliation and forgiveness.  It was focused on the national Rugby team and their contribution to a spirit of national healing in the wake of Apartheid.  What a rugged sport.  I still don’t understand the rules but it is definitely a very physical game.  They don’t have helmets covering their faces so it is entertaining to see all the shapes a man’s face can take.   The variety is endless as they hurl there muscle laced bodies into the action.   Good movie.  Afterword we enjoyed a bike ride around Hesston in the cool evening air.

Commuter car

Since I’m going to be hitting the road to Wichita several times a week I figured an economical car was what I needed.  Traded the pickup for a 2004 Honda Civic 4 door sedan with a 5 speed stick shift.  I love it and it gets somewhere between 37 and 40 mpg.  My daughter also loves it!  She just thought the 5 speed manual transmission was the neatest thing.  In fact, she would like the car for herself.  But first I had to teach her how to drive with a clutch.  We spent an evening driving the countryside.  Starting, stopping, backing up.  She was a fast learner.  I talked to a mechanic at Bud and Steve’s and he said he always buys manual tranny vehicles.  And he said the funny thing was his daughters were the ones that loved to drive them the most.

Found out the car is minus a jack for when I have a flat.  Other than that I look forward to driving past a lot of gas stations.

Bicycling

On Tuesday May 18 the weather was absolutely awesome.   80 degrees, light breeze and sunshine.  I got out on my bike and pedaled out to the countryside on the gravel roads.  I covered 8 miles faster than I have in years.  Somehow I had just the right stuff on this day to find that maximum zone and stay at it over 8 miles.  14.8 mph on a Trek 7300 hybrid.  Not bad with half the distance being gravel.    But man did I feel it for the next several days.

Yesterday, Wednesday May 26 it was 90 degrees and hardly any breeze.  I felt so good I rode for 12 miles.  But only 13.1 mph this time.  (There is a big difference in energy expended between 13.1 and 14.8)  Very refreshing and I’m not sore today.  Bicycling is good for the soul.

Church in Halstead

On Sunday morning May 23 Deborah and I attended Crossroads Community Church in Halstead.  They meet in an old two story building downtown.  It’s the one with “1884″ on the very top.  It was great to see our son standing by the entrance as a greeter.  The congregation has a real informal feel and there is a very warm spirit there.  The sanctuary is long and narrow with a small stage near the entrance.  Everyone has to walk right past the stage to enter.  They had a good worship team and it was easy to participate from the audience.  Tom, the lay leader had a great way of pulling everything together with his comments and prayers.

Crossroads is part of the www.lifechurch.tv network.  They are one church, multiple locations.  The pastor at the base church in Edmond, OK is Craig Groeschel.  His sermons are given in Edmond and sent by video to numerous congregations like Crossroads in Halstead.  We watched on a screen hanging over the stage.  The current series was Forgotten Virtues and this particular message topic was Integrity.  It was a great message and very relevant.

Crossroads is doing a great job at reaching out to young people in Halstead.  It was a friendly fellowship.  After church we went to the new home of our son and daughter-in-law.  We checked out how they had fixed up the place and enjoyed a BBQ meal.  Was a terrific day.

Sunday church — twice

Sunday morning May 16 my wife and I got up early and attended West Evangelical Free Church (Maize Rd. in Wichita).  Worship singing was much simpler than what I experienced the night before.  The songs were more singable and thus it was easier to participate.  Less focus on staging.

Pastor Cooper’s message was excellent.  He worked off the CSI television show theme.  In this case it was OTSI (Old Testament Scene Investigation).  He examined the Crime scene of Cain killing Abel.  One thought that was new to me was this.  Why didn’t it take 10 or 20 or 30 generations before sin got big like murder?  Why didn’t sin for Cain consist of little deceptions or gossip and then over a generation or two move on to stealing or adultery and then after a few more generations murder?  But Cain, son of Adam and Eve and BOOM! murder!  Sin is crouching at the door.  Watch out!  Was a timely message.  My wife liked the homemade cookies in the visitor gift bag.

After coffee and bagel at Panera we attended the late service at First MB on W. 21st in Wichita.  Worship singing had songs that were more singable and also made participation easier.  Paved the way for the preaching of the Word.  Pastor Brent did a great job introducing a series on I Timothy.  The text was the first 11 verses of chapter one.  The main point was about false teachers and how do we deal with that in the church.  He spoke clearly and really moved along.  Great message.

Since I was associate pastor at 1st MB from 1983 to 1986 it was great to connect with a few people after the service.  Then it was Braums for lunch and home.

Saturday church

Saturday May 15 I attended New Spring Church in Wichita (K-96 & 21st).  I have met Pastor Hoover on occasion and also had conversations with a variety of people who attend New Spring.  Now it was my opportunity to check it out for myself.

The time of singing was a major production of lighting, special affects, praise band, praise choir, skit and video clip.  I didn’t know any of the songs so I pretty much just watched what was going on on stage.  During the first minute or two of the service I wasn’t sure if I was in a worship service or an NBA playoff game.  It wasn’t a worship service style I related to but I did contemplate how this type of setting and strategy might draw un-churched people to hear the gospel message.  I’m still processing that.

The pastor’s message was right on.  Pastor Hoover spoke about how we can know the Bible is true.  He made a solid case for the truth and reliability of the Bible.  I liked the way he invited people to accept Christ at the end of the message.

A New Assignment

For those of you who have been praying for Deborah and me regarding the next step in our journey…thank you.

Short version:

I have accepted the call to serve as Full-time Interim Pastor at First Baptist Church (2^nd and Broadway) in downtown Wichita.  The English congregation is similar in size to HMB.  Duties will begin July 1, 2010.  We plan to continue living in Hesston.

Expanded version:

“Lord, make me a man who loves the thrill of sudden lift.  Break me loose from the suction created by the smooth water of predictability and comfort.  Give me a set of manual flaps.  Holy Spirit—flow over my soul.  Dare me to use them.  Amen.”

Trail Talk Blog Posting Jan. 29, 2010

Article titled:  Manual Flaps

Last paragraph of the article

On Sunday March 7, 2010 my resignation from the lead pastor role at Hesston MB Church was announced.   When I clicked the “send” button on the all church email it felt like jumping off a cliff.  I had absolutely no clue what was next.  The only thing I was certain of was that God was leading me away from HMB.  I released my grip on what was familiar and reached for the unknown.

Two full time hospital chaplaincy positions were available.  That was the starting point but it soon became clear that I lacked some essential qualifications.  On Monday morning –March 8– Deborah sent a short message to our Christmas card list.  We informed them of our decision.  On Tuesday night (the very next day) I was up until 1:00 a.m. filling out a hospital chaplaincy application.  After clicking “submit” I was wide awake.   So off to Druber’s I went.   My alertness was applied to preparing Sunday’s sermon.  Returning to the house at 3:00 a.m. and mysteriously drawn to check the email…I was stunned by what the inbox revealed.

A friend on the Christmas card list was amazed at the timing of everything.  On the very next Sunday (March 14) the pastor of his Wichita area church was going to announce his resignation as lead pastor.

The church was simply described as a… “church which is downtown, has innumerable ethnic fellowships, and a strong ministry to the poor.  We are not a wealthy church by any stretch, and have all sorts of unique attributes of the Kingdom, being the exact polar opposite of homogeneous.”  I was encouraged to pray and think about the possibility of being an interim pastor at that location.  But the church was never named in the email.  Later, as my head hit the pillow and my hands reached up into the heavens these words came forth, “Father God, whaaaat’s up?!”

Within two weeks of my resignation 3 individuals (independently) recommended me for this position.  As communications took place and prayers went up this opportunity shifted from, “you’ve got to be kidding!” to “here am I Lord, send me.”   This week we received the official call to come to First Baptist.

First Baptist Church is  “one congregation with many fellowships”.  Every Sunday morning 5 different ethnic fellowships gather for worship throughout the building–English, Chinese, Lao/Thai, Spanish and Arabic.  Every Sunday the children from all people groups learn and play together.  On the first Sunday of each month all fellowships worship together in the sanctuary and celebrate communion and baptisms.  Every Sunday the message that is given in the English service is presented again later (along side a translator) in abbreviated form to the Chinese fellowship.

Every Sunday morning the ministry to the neighborhood poor provides a breakfast to all who come (typically 180 – 220).  A portion of these guests stay for the service.  On Wednesday nights the World Impact Good Samaritan Mobile Clinic operates from the church parking lot.

The people who form the core of this congregation are highly committed believers.  They have a strong conviction regarding the authority of God’s word, Jesus Christ as “the way, the truth and the life” and a missional mindset for the city center.

There are some interesting connections.  This is the congregation that Kasey Rogg grew up in. His parents, Ron and Deanna were active as leaders.  Dennis Nichols was an associate pastor at FBC about 20 years ago.

Many churches relocate from the core of our cities.  Here is a local body of Christ committed to staying, serving, welcoming and impacting the downtown community with the good news of the gospel.

Sometimes I feel like Abraham (Genesis 17:17) falling on my face, laughing the “laugh of faith”.  At other times I feel like Peter falling before Jesus saying, “Depart from me, for I am a sinful man, O Lord.” (Luke 5:8)   I was surprised by how many people thought Deborah and I might be moving to Indonesia.  We continue to live on Spruce Street in Hesston.   Yet God, knowing our hearts, has brought the world to us.

I am thankful for the freedom to get refreshed and recharged during May and June.  In a year or two I could again be right where I was on March 7.  Yet it’s worth the risk because God has no shortage of miraculous surprises in his storehouse.  Once again one of my expectations that can never fail proves true.  That is… “We can expect that in every circumstance we face in this life the Holy Spirit will speak the Father’s guidance at just the right time.”  Indeed!

Falling into the abyss of the loving arms of God,

Steve Toews

Mother’s Day

For the first time since I was a senior in High School I drove my mother to church on Mother’s Day!  Since then I was away at college or seminary or living in Kansas, Colorado and California.  They we up in Montana.  Mostly I was doing what pastors do on Sunday mornings.

My mother, Helen, is 87 years old.  We walked and wheeled our way into the sanctuary.  Then sat together, sang together and listened together for the whole service.  What a blessing.  I also got to hear Pastor Brian Allen preach for the first time (not his first time…my first time to hear him).  His text was Romans 12:1, 2 and during the second point of his message he had us all bow our heads.  He suggested a prayer to pray in our heart if we were so led.  I was led to genuinely pray that prayer.  It was like an arrow to the center of my heart*.  It was a marvelous confirmation of where God is leading me.  It was a great morning.

We enjoyed a nice lunch at mom’s apartment.  We topped it off with applesauce cake, ice cream and coffee.  Life is good!

*What God did in my heart at this point in the sermon was also like a valuable lesson.  I am certain that Pastor Brian had no idea how his words were making application in my heart.  It was like the Holy Spirit speaking the Father’s guidance at just the right time.  I will long remember it.  Likewise, people who sit and listen to me preach may have things happening in their own hearts that I have no idea are happening.  It was a humble reminder for me to never underestimate what God may be doing via the proclamation of his word when it falls on the soil of people’s hearts.